"A man that flies from his fear may find that he has only taken a short cut to meet it."
Sometimes a things are not all that they appear. A seemingly innocuous box is more than just a box. It's important, symbolic, a milestone, somethingto fear. But we'll get back to that.
Like a lot of hobbiests I have a sizable pile of shame. The lure of a new model or a new army is sometimes just too great and while I do feel that I am more restrained with purchases than many, my slow painting speed has ultimately left me with a mountain of models in front of me. A decades worth of impulse purchases, ebay hauls, part complete projects and unfulfilled potential that is seemingly ever present, following me from one house to the next. Always there, always judging.
I knew I had to do something about it, or be haunted for all eternity. It's not as if I haven't tried to tackle this before. So far this year I have managed to paint more than I've bought and projects such Battle Streams in Middle-Earth and the Battle Companies Community Challenge have encouraged me to dig deep into my pile of shame to unearth long forgotten models that were destined to languish untouched for eternity. But it was never enough, the pile was still there, always judging.
It was time for something drastic. I needed a plan. The simplest way to clear the pile of shame would be to sell it (or at least a significant part of it), or get a commission painter to paint it for me. But is that not just admitting defeat to the pile? Always having to carry that shame, that judgement. No, I had to do this myself.
Throughout September I sifted through the pile, facing the shame. Like an archaeologist uncovering an ancient ruin, rediscovering those incomplete projects of yesteryear. It resulted in a list. A list of 6 armies, some long lost to the mists of time, some much less ancient. 6 armies I wanted to paint and finish but that currently waiting, judging.
And that brings me back to the box. That innocuous little box. A couple of the armies were short one or models in my collection so a quick order was placed with my new favourite 3rd party retailer to fill those gaps and that's it. I am pledging not buy any more MESBG models until every single one of those 144 models is complete*. One whole gross.
Can I ever complete this herculean task, or will this be my final ever purchase? Will the pile of shame win, forever judging? Maybe I just need to face my fear.
*For those painters who could probably finish that in a weekend, bare in mind my painting speed has been compared with the movement of the continents. Thorin's Company took 7 years to complete from start to finish.
